I never met her again

I’m looking at the door, white door… It has just closed… stupor has seized me… This is one of those states, when you don’t realize what’s happening… I feel as if, soul left my body… what a strange feeling! I’m watching myself, from far away, I can see my pale face, eyes wide shut…

Bit by bit image fades away in the darkness… Am I dead already?! But I still feel the pain… It still hurts… Now, I start to understand the situation, slowly I start to clench my hands… I can’t seize my breath, I feel as if something is stuck in my throat… choking again… That’s part of my shattered heart that is stuck…. (I assume)… Time by time, slowly, everything becomes clear… It’s not a dream, it’s not a horrible nightmare… she left me and that is reality… I have to go on living, – without her – words piercingly echoed in my mind…Yes, that’s what happened, that’s why my heart feels so sad, but… We were so close… we loved each other…

It was 30-th December, when I first met her; when I first looked into her innocent eyes… Her image jammed into my head… I miss her smile, smell of perfume and charming looks she used to award me with… We had great time together!… We were so close… we loved each other…

Cold breeze smashes into my face. Sobers me up for a second, I feel how small particles of ice melt on my face… it is 6:00 am now, streets are empty, not a single person to care, to stop… Bridge seems very high… I often passed by, but never felt the height… Blue waves of the river, they seem so clear, so simple… I could be a part of the river, a wave endlessly smashing on the shore, cutting my way through the steel and stone…

Anticipation of something big empowers me… My heart starts to beat harder… I feel how fast my body moves down…coldness, pain, everything disappears, only memory is left – image of her body, of her smile, of her smell, that will live forever…

Filed Under: Photo stories

Tags: conceptual, expressive photos, love, photo essay, short story